A breath......

Finally... I give my brain a rest A rest from the chaos of thinking about Autism A rest from the constant of Autism A rest from the nagging what if's of autism As you can see, I didn't blog about any therapies last week. I will continue - this has been my sounding board, outlet, and record - but I have had a breakthrough this week that I would like to share with you. After 4 months of daily - hourly - and sometimes minute by minute searching for WHYS, HOWS, WHERES, WHOS, etc and so on.... I finally just rest in the comfort of God's peace. Not to mention, i'm pretty sure I found the end of the internet ;-) I'm at peace with who my son is. How God created him. What HIS plans are. That the outcome of his life has purpose - meaning - no matter if he's different or the same as everyone else. As Christians, we're to look different anyway. We're to let our light shine - be IN the world, but not OF the world. God has CREATED my sweet boy just like He created your son or daughter or you or me. So, He must have had a reason. I'm going to try to just be the mom I'm called to be - to help him as best I can - to train him up the way he should go so he might not depart from it. I won't be perfect. I'll certainly go backwards and falter. But I want to choose to see this in God's eyes. Certainly ANY child of God is made in his image, why would I doubt that? I have been humbled this week - as a fellow blogger dealt with heartwrenching circumstances. All the while, she chose to look on toward God's purpose and God's will. It broke me - when she said as she went through the most difficult of circumstances - she would be praying through Psalm 121 over and over.... I will lift up my eyes to the hills - From where comes my help? My help comes from the LORD, Who made heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to be moved; He who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, He who keeps Israel Shall neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD is your keeper; The LORD is your shade at your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, Nor the moon by night. The LORD shall preserve you from all evil; He shall preserve your soul. The LORD shall preserve your going out and your coming in From this time forth, and even forevermore. The WHYS, HOWS, WHERES, WHOS are all questions of selfishness - not of faithfulness. God, WHAT now? What do You ask of me now? Unlike sweet Isaac (who was born and passed this week) - I have held my child for 2 years already. I get to hear him tell me he loves his mommy. I get to kiss his precious face. I get to see him learn and grow. I get to celebrate huge accomplishments. I get to hold his hand across the street. I get to be proud. I get to help him learn. Has he made me a better mommy? Have I stopped to pay better attention? Have I spent more time? Will he have the capacity to accept Jesus when the time comes? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. This week I taught my 1 year old Sunday School class about Noah. A classic truth of the Bible - Noah's ark. Most of us know the story. But I was caught off guard by one simple line - (Gen 6:22) Thus Noah did; according to all that God had commanded him, so he did. It doesn't say that Noah asked why. It doesn't say that he logged onto the internet in search of flood statistics. It doesn't say that he questioned the odd requests and specificity of the instructions at all. It says NOAH DID, According to all that God had commanded him... How often do I stray from the simplicity of just DOing? Lord, help me to find your way...... it is ALL joy if it is in you....James 1:2-5