4.02.2026

 Then & Now  #AutismAwareness2026

2008 I journaled about misunderstandings.
About what people thought autism looked like—
eye contact, labels, assumptions,
whether he would ever leave home.

“What? Autism? No way…”
they would say
because he looked too happy
too bright
too not what they expected

And I remember standing in that space
between diagnosis and disbelief
trying to explain something
I was still learning how to understand

He was two.
And I was trying to see the future
while also trying to stay in the now

Google searches
therapy notes
early words of hope…and fear
braided together

I journaled about systems trying to define
what I only knew as him

I was trying to translate a language
no one around me could yet understand

And now it is 2026

He is 19—almost 20
No theories
No guesses

Now it is real life unfolding in motion

It is him walking into the dining hall
choosing for himself
deciding to stay at school
for Easter break

It is a mind still quietly
beautifully
crunching numbers the way it always has

It is college
on his own
in a dorm life I once only wondered about
in terror

Some days he thrives
And also struggles
and both are real
and both are his

And as always—
he is himself
the himself God created
for a purpose

What has changed is not the label
or the questions
or even the challenges

What has changed is me

Because autism, as I’ve lived it,
was never really about understanding a diagnosis

It was about learning to see a person
support a person
love a person
as he grew into himself

And somewhere along the way
I stopped only trying to understand him
and started learning

to see him


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