The Psychologist suggested using a glass baby food jar and coins to praise DS for NOT writing in the air/finger writing/walls etc. Instead of using CBT, we are going to use Behavior Modification to try to minimize the anxiety ridden behaviors that we think are interfering with a large chunk of his day. Week One, we are to ONLY tell him that we are proud of him when he doesn't write with his fingers, drop a coin in the jar (making sure he hears but does not touch) and then reward after a certain amount of coins are accumulated. We are NOT to say anything about it when he IS engaging in this ritualistic behavior. His reward is one prize out of his new Treasure Box (which he loves). There are sheets to play hangman & dots, mini candy canes, chocolates, and 5 minute computer passes.
Week One:
Thursday.... I started the day journaling about his behaviors so that I could accurately picture a baseline of anxiety and behaviors from day one. Today was a school day, and OT day, and the Psychologist observed, a day where we went to Target, and one where he was heavily engaged until nearly dinner time. NOT a good day for a baseline. After thinking through my own answer to 'how much does he do this', I asked hubby...who had the same answer, I asked a friend who also agreed, and grandma admitted that she is noticing all the behaviors increasing as he gets older too. I think it's sufficient to say that for every 15 minutes that he is NOT being fully engaged, he IS engaging in these ritualistic behaviors of writing in the air (numbers associated with his play or tv shows), writing on walls (more related to high anxiety), and writing on tables or scribbling on non-existent note pads with his fingers for at least 4-5 opportunities lasting from a couple seconds to a full 5-10-15 minutes. He is spending significant amounts of time intertwining play and these behaviors and it is SO rooted in his day that it is inseparable from most any activity he participates in.
To begin with, he was VERY excited about his treasure box. He was very happy about us saying we were proud of him for NOT writing with his fingers. We spent the first 10 minutes after introducing him to this new thing constantly finding opportunities to reward him. He picked computer time from the box as his treasure.
Right off the bat, he wanted to tell us over and over and over and over "I'm not writing in the air, can I have a reward? Reward please, Reward please!" and we explained that he would not get a reward if he was telling us to give him one (because he was not engaging in anything except the fixation on the system itself)
After a few visits to the treasure box (always picking computer time), he began to incessantly start to chatter. He twirled his hair, raised his shoulders, and gave us a play-by-play of every move he was making as if he was a commentator at a football game. Finally I asked him why he was talking so much. And he says, "Because I'm not writing in the air"
Once the newness of this system wore off (about 2 hours) he incessantly wrote on walls, the air, tables, fake notepads, fake envelopes, etc.... It literally looked as if he was forced to put himself on Fast-Forward mode to get all the writing in that he couldn't do while I was rewarding him. He wound himself WAY up before bed.
Looking forward to maybe a BETTER day tomorrow, I hope.
Questions: Baby Sis will not allow brother to be the only one going in the treasure chest. Do we reward her for 'not writing' or do we use the same box for a different purpose so that she is not left out?
Is there anything we CAN or should do right now to remind him of what we're looking for when He starts in with increased behaviors, in FFWD mode? I was thinking of jingling the change around in my pocket or giving a gentle reminder. OR maybe that is meddling too much?
10 comments:
As I stated before, if you try to stop the stimming it will make it worse. It's better to reward any positive behavoir, learning a new skill, following instructions, figuring something out on his own, for example. The more you make him feel bad for not doing it, rewarding him for not doing it is telling him it is bad, the more he will find ways to get it all in. Trying to stop these behavoirs is going to create even more anxiety for him.
We have chosen to accept our son's stimming as something he needs to do and focus on letting him know we love him just the way he is and praise his accomplishments. Don't become so consumed with the obsessive ritualistic behavoirs that you miss out on the positive qualities and skills he has. I really feel that it hurts children's self-esteem when they are constantly being "rewarded" for acting "normal" which they clearly aren't and probably never will be.
I think it's more important to focus on what he can do and just let him mature at his own pace. He will let you know when he is ready to learn something.
It's one thing to try and help your child live up to their potential and it is another to force a square peg in a round hole. You have to know when to intervene and when to let go and accept that no matter what you try they can't be and maybe shouldn't be changed. Don't miss out on getting to know your son as a person by focusing on all the things that aren't "normal" and he can't do.
I'm curious to see how all this goes. You might prove me wrong : )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f15JexiQt4U
Thought you might find this interesting. It's about stimming.
I appreciate your point of view. I did watch the video. I am not convinced it is stimming, so we're going to investigate further. Since he can't just tell us what's going on.... we'll have to approach it a different way. The way he reacts to these new techniques will tell us if it is helping or hurting. I figure there can't be any harm in that.
Whatever it is, he deserves an advocate who will try to get to the bottom of a behavior that WILL severely impact relationships in the future while he is still young. If it's just something he's going to do.... that's fine. I love my boy. I can handle that.
But if there's something he's expressing because of anxiety THAT much of his day EVERY day and he's only 3 years old.... he's worth the work it'll take to figure it out.
I found a snippet of the Obsessed episode feature the aspie. Here it is ("Rick", episode 4):
http://www.aetv.com/obsessed/episode-guide/index.jsp?episode=467220&deeplink=true&dlepisodeid=467220&dlseason=Season%201
Check out the writing numbers down part, past the one minute mark
Here's his wiki page:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rick_Rosner
And a youtube clip from Obsessed:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnR1TlTEldE
the writing down numbers part is past the 6 minute mark
Now, Rick Rosner is probably one in a million so don't read anything into this. I just thought you'd find it interesting.
And don't miss this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndW5uiwexL8
"reading Esquire magazine at age 4..."
My son doesn't do this (yet -- he's not 3 yet), but I thought it was interesting that when he stops writing in the air, he says what he's doing out loud. Now, I never had autism, but ... I am what most people consider to be a motor-mouth and I have to struggle not to say what I'm thinking. As in, I can be negotiating with someone and I have a hard time not just telling them exactly what I think. And my husband and many others have marveled that it's like I never stop thinking. And that's exactly true. I am always thinking about something, every minute, every second that I am not asleep or mentally dumbed by reading or watching television. I was astonished to learn that everyone else isn't continuously thinking. At times, I have been known to mutter to myself. Because when I am thinking particularly hard, I want to think out loud. I guess what I'm wondering is ... is it possible that for some individuals, they are thinking even harder, even faster, and ... they can't NOT think out loud? The other thing I wonder is ... well, the rest of us probably have fleeting thoughts all the time that we just kind of suppress and gently brush away. Well ... meditation is about enhancing the ability to this. And meditation increases gamma waves. See this from the wall street journal: http://psyphz.psych.wisc.edu/web/News/Meditation_Alters_Brain_WSJ_11-04.htm. OK, well, these gamma waves, are, to quote the article: "thought to be the signature of neuronal activity that knits together far-flung brain circuits." As in ... "long-distance connections" problems with which have been cited in sensory processing disorder and autism? (see the mislabeled child.) NOW ... stay with me here ... studies have shown lower gamma waves in autistic individuals. See this article from Discovery about researchers at Stanford and MIT who are working on find a way using lasers to target this specific issue: http://dsc.discovery.com/news/2009/04/29/brain-autism-laser.html. So ... somehow ... maybe what is happening here is that your son is simply unable to shut out all these intruding thoughts about random things, and for some reason he has to express them through his body or out loud, just to ... I don't know ... dissipate them? I know this may sound a little odd, but if it were me, I think I would explore whether there is some way to teach meditation to a very young child. I've actually been thinking about looking into that for my son as well.
http://tinyurl.com/ydn327y
you are welcome to see this link of some of his behaviors, it gives a much better picture than what I can describe. He is also fixated on advent [day 11] which I didn't even NOTICE until I was editing the video....
I'm only going to leave this up temporarily...
I just watched the video. The fidgetiness and restlessness is very familiar, my son does that a lot too (although sometimes he goes through more of a lethargic phase). And I myself am prone to bouts of a sort of restless agitation, which apparently runs in my family. However, I have noticed that my son does this a lot less if he is really well rested, and oddly has a tendency to do this when he ought to be going to bed. e.g., he will be yawning and rubbing his eyes, so I know he's sleepy, but the moment we lie down to go to sleep, he starts reciting books and he jumps up and starts running around. like he's fighting sleep. He also has allergies, including a pretty high allergy to dust mites, so my current strategy is to address teh allergies and see if this gets him better sleep. I'm not sure if it will work or not, but it really does SEEM like better sleep makes a difference in his restlessness. I couldn't hear everything he was saying, but as far as the advent thing goes, is it really that unusual for a small child to ask about the same thing over and over? I thought that was really common, actually. Especially if it's something they don't really understand. Also, I noticed you said your husband would be back from work by Advent, so maybe your son was fishing to here this reassuring information. Is it possible that your son is so highly attached to your husband that he gets a litle extra anxious when he's not around? Maybe he just wanted to hear again when Daddy was coming home.
I was able to watch half of the video you put up. What an adorable little boy you have! He seems like a little sweetie : ) My first thought when I saw the air writing was that it actually reminded me of a seizure. Is this a possibility? Is he responsive when he is doing this? Will he respond if you speak to him while he is doing it?
I think he has some great skills-eye contact, social interaction and verbal skills for his age if he is on the spectrum. Can he tell you why he air writes? If not than I can understand why you would want to find out if it is due to anxiety or stress.
I don't know if you have heard of this guy but he has high functioning Autism and he is a genius with numbers and being able to pick up other languages. I believe he is called "Brain man". He sees numbers as shapes in his mind. If your son is fascinated by numbers maybe you could use that as a teaching tool. I would definately try to find positive ways for him to use numbers. Maybe you could find some games or books that show him a constructive use for numbers. My son's obsessions are teaching tools and opportunities for him to become an "expert" in that topic.
Please keep us posted : )
Here a link to Wikipedia for "Brain Man"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel_Tammet
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